elephantwalrus

Is this really lyrical poetry, though? It sounds more like a satire or something. What category would it go under on this website, because most of my poems are whimsical ...

It is a nice metaphor, but I have to agree that it sounds like prose. Keep working on it!

I didn't like the last line either. Other than that, my only other comment is concerning the lines Your lies are nothing to me. Your heart is nothing to me. ...

Eh...the idea was good. The problem was that the paper was way too informal. Don't use common phrases like "huh," and never use exclamation marks in a paper. Don't even ...

Thanks for the critiques! How does this version sound? Every year, thousands of tourists Flock to ocean With pockets full of money To bathe in gold. The luxurious hours Are ...

I think the questions you asked were good questions, but I think it would add to the poem if you described what each of these questions feel like. Personally, I ...

Dude! I loved your first stanza! Before the first line break, every word was in order and it sounded really amazing! The second stanza threw me for a loop, though...I ...

Honestly, I've never read a poem about math before. I think you did a great job describing the completely different world that is math. It didn't flow well in some ...

Please be Seated What is a chair? A relaxing seat? A dining place? For I was sitting on one as I ate, And wondered what would come to pass If ...

Lovely! I liked how much description you used, but the rhythm was all over the place. It's fine the way it is, but it would feel more connected if the ...

I love logic :D. I will probably spend a couple hours this weekend analyzing the logic in this paper; it is very nicely written. I don't know what the format ...

Ugg, DBQs are so annoying... We just finished studying the colonies in our history class...if your school has access to any databases, those are always very helpful. I'd suggest looking ...

Wow, I love how precise this is! It moved at a good pace, but the flow was interupted with the herhimthemthereitfuturepresent. It's such a cool combination of words though....maybe if ...

I really didn't feel this poem either...sometimes I felt that you were trying to rhyme, and other times it sounded like you were ranting. I would suggest finding other words ...

It's a really relevant topic to teens nowadays, and that's cool, I just don't get why the line breaks are where they are. I think it would feel more connected ...