elephantwalrus

Hey, thanks for the input, guys! I've been trying to work out the last two lines in the first stanza, and the very last line, and I'm not sure if ...

I liked the description of the dance. I think it would help if you elaborated on the last line, because it seems that you have a lot you could say ...

That is simply thought provoking. I liked it :) I have no critiques; I just thought it was lovely.

When things were awkward Between boys and girls, Nothing could make me approach her. I would never comfort the exhausted child. She'd shy away when I looked torward Her obvious ...

I have to agree with the chocoholic. This wasn't something I enjoyed reading. It sounded like you were trying to make the play realistic, and it really wasn't. Some of ...

Oops! Sorry! It didn't show up on my computer the first time I read it. Nice, I feel very intelligent now :lol: Sorry about that. Don't mind me...

MIA – Missing in Action. (Verse 1) I’m living life, day to day without you. Not knowing whether not you’re okay. I know I should know how your life is, ...

I think this work has a lot of potential. But, it seems like the first half and second half aren't really related. I know that you're not finished with it ...

I really like this! Your rhyming is really impressive! My only criticism is that the second verse isn't very different from the first. Maybe after the first chorus, you could ...

Yay! This was really good for a first poem! The ending was a bit abrupt, considering the length of the poem. If it was three stanzas, it wouldn't be a ...

Already Gone This page is too white to write on, To defile with the strokes of this pen. It was so perfect before, It obviously isn’t anymore. This room is ...

Wow, this poem is really thought provoking! I was a bit unclear on what it was about at the beginning, but by the end I understood. I usually don't say ...

I agree with the pirate :) The last stanza is a bit off. What I love about this poem is how incredibly detailed it is! You make eating an apple ...

Sorry that you're stressed :( That always stinks. I don't rightly know if there are parameters for the application of work, but I think your piece very good. Your introduction ...

random things are good things. In my vocabulary, I call random thoughts "tharts," but that is a story for another day. And that day approacheth quickly. :)