elephantwalrus

Yea, my original thought was hieroglyphs, but pyramid makes sense, too. :D Did it flow ok? I was distracted when I wrote it, and I'm not sure how it holds ...

Hmm...I only have two comments for this: 1. I would put the "I wait in silence" on another line 2. I don't really get the "what makes me different" line. ...

I really like the idea of this poem being fantastic, and with a little work, it could be. First, I'd work on the line breaks, especially in the second half. ...

I liked this poem and think it has a lot of potential. One of the problems I for see is that you use the word "see" too many times. Try ...

Yay! My first line by line! We can not fight more than we fought today, It can not hurt more than it has hurt today, [I don't particularly like these ...

This provokes a lot of emotion in the reader. I wouldn't have the title be "rumors," because then you're giving the object of the story away. I would suggest to ...

Thanks for reading it! I will definitely take another go at this poem when I'm more awake and there is indeed a sun outside, striking the crimson leaves on the ...

I think this is a sometimes over-used topic, so I would suggest maybe elaborating a bit. Make it different in some way, whether it be rhyme, impressive diction, metaphors, just ...

It's a "what am I" poem. kinda. I pridefully display my purpose, And cannot be shelved away; My heart is rooted in the stone, And that’s what makes me immortal. ...

This was simple and thought provoking. There's a world of possibilities to the reader, and that's cool. I didn't like "blew it all away" either. I'm not sure, but I ...

No problem. You have some fantastic rhymes in this song, it's just that one was off. It was a great first draft, though.

Whoa! Your diction is amazing! I had some trouble putting a beat to the poem, but then I realized that the speaker's just talking. The description is powerful and melancholy...I ...

Alright, I worked on it some more. Here it goes again: This page is too white to write on, To defile with the strokes of this pen. The ink mars ...

Welcome to the site! Your rhyme and meter in this poem are impressive, and I liked the poem when I read it. If you would like some constructive criticism, read ...

Thanks for the critique! Would the song be more consistent if I changed the "and when you needed me I walked away" to "turned away"?