elephantwalrus

This lonely page is the sole refuge Of a very lonely Heart Who beats lukewarm blood Throughout the empty body. It is very cold. The empty body would try to ...

I liked it, too. And feel free to put poems up that aren't your best! I do it all the time, and they often become some of my best after ...

The flow of the words was good, but I didn't like the punctuation. It messes with how the poem is read; I'd suggest using more commas instead of periods. I ...

Well, I will continue to work on it. Thank you everyone for your time, criticisms, and encouragements!

Is there anything I could do to make this better, or is it fine as is?

I like this poem a lot; with a little tweaking, it could be fabulous!! The moonlight illuminates my heart, I like the word "illuminates," but not here. I don't know ...

This is a creative piece, and I have only two criticisms: 1. I think it would add to the poem if you used more punctuation in the stanzas 2. I ...

(Verse 1) It’s funny how disappointing it seems. How could she miss such an obvious thing, To confuse her dreams with reality? She only wanted something more, But disappointment pushed ...

I liked how this song stayed consistent in theme and focus until the end. On second thought, I didn't like the references to alcohol at the end; something major like ...

Lol! I'm going to be skipping around my house for the next four hours singing that! It was really funny, and that's what I like most :o

In this world, there are bees and wasps, And both are annoying pests. There seems to be no purpose for them, But God created them, like the rest. The bees ...

I liked it's simplicity. It's thought provoking for a moment, but then the reader can easily move on. If that was your intention, you succeeded, if not, I don't know ...

Yay for line by lines! When the tears fill my eyes And a sharp pain picks my throat 'Cos I dont want him to see my fear (you refer to ...

This poem is very thoughtful, but I felt that the flow broke a few times. By the grit and cutting grain we call the world. So I arm myself with ...

The Hubris Noose A venomous, thorny vine Clutches victims at the throat, Yet to them it is a gentle necklace, For they see not malevolent schemes. The captives’ blood trickles ...