element28001

I really enjoyed the poem, I am sorry I do not have much advice for you about how to improve the poem. I think it is fine the way it ...

I really enjoyed "More" this is a well thought out poem, little childish word play, but I enjoyed it. It allows more readers to understand and relate. The last stanza ...

The use of repetition is widely used in poems and works rather well. In this case it does not. You have some pretty good lines that deflect the "hollowness" of ...

I enjoyed this poem very much. I found it rather insightful, our obsessions at it's best. We long for an understanding of the inevitable question "Why", but tend to never ...

please post comments and thoughts! thank you!

His eyes green, his favorite color His neck old and wrinkled, tendency to look like his mother Old and gray Nomadic whereabouts In a nicotine chase What a constant race, ...

I am going to be the bad guy on this one. I think it is rather simple. You being you do not have the ability yet to be simple. Word ...

I wish this poem had more depth. I loved it all in all, but I feel word choice needs to be looked at. I will not give you the words. ...

Personally I think this is not a poem, simply that there is nothing there. There are words, but besides that there really is nothing there. I feel emotion, but its ...

This work rather childish with the rhyme scheme. I understand what you are wanting to do, so you were able to present that. As for the poem in all I ...

The poem flows well. I enjoyed your concept of blunt statements. This idea really makes the poem work. As for the amount of emotion put into the poem, I think ...

A thousand words floating vicariously through the air Watch the men and women gather Is this for an escape? A haven to play A mig-shift heaven to lay A thousand ...

Interesting use of words. I enjoyed the structure of the poem and I enjoyed reading it. Needs some editing, but most of what is needed has already been stated. Although, ...

I really enjoyed this poem. As for editing, it is your choice. People have given you their opinion on how this should or could be, but the reality of it ...

I think for your age and the idea that is presented are a little of center. Your idea of reality is just that reality. You have created a false sense, ...