earendil

I hate to follow Lumi's review because he's made some pretty good points already, but let's see what we can pull out of this. Let's start at the top. Ahead ...

Haha. I could see this fitting really well into a children's book or something. It has that sort of rhythm and rhyme where when you read it, you can't help ...

I actually don't mind the gray. Anyway. If the banner keeps YWS alive, then I'll do my best to adapt to the new look. :P

If the above comment says that the poem was disturbing, then it seems you've done well in setting the image and connecting with the reader. I think this piece has ...

Whether it's for a first dance or a last dance is up to the reader I suppose. Sounded more like a first dance in my opinion; I'd expect a last ...

Alrighty, Kafka. This will be a shorter one, but let's see what we can do here. When skulls crushed with bones Not very impressed with the first line. Based on ...

I'm hesitant to suggest anything, just because this was so... cute :P Haha. Definitely brought a smile to my face. Good write.

city lights averting your gaze from the moon, sorting these diamonds with a plastic spoon, turning to face what may come back around in a relative world where no right ...

Haha, I started laughing at the end. By telling you that he can't talk, isn't the fox talking? :P Fantastic. This is such a great piece. Normally I don't care ...

I never really review actual song lyrics, simply because I need to hear it with music first. Sometimes it's not just about the words, especially when there's a piano to ...

Harmonies chopped up like meat and stacked in neat little drawers, untouched, rotting, until the flies come and all is wasted. If your intentions were to use the bolded words ...

Overall, I enjoyed this. Your sentences sometimes sound like just fragments to me, but that's just my personal opinion and can be easily fixed. Other than that, this is short ...

I'm usually not a big fan of haiku poetry, but I like these. It fascinates me when people are able to make a collection of haikus, each one complimenting one ...

I absolutely love this piece. It's so simple, I was surprised by the power of it after I finished reading. I'm guessing you've edited it since Coral commented, because in ...

She could remember the dandelions , Sweet and yellow , I moved the comma to replace the period so that the sentence would continue more fluidly. :) And she had ...