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Re: The Return
HI, this is something I'm writing for a magazine, the theme is REMNANT, as in a scrap, a fragment or what's left after something, but I need you geniuses approval ...
Dec 27, 2011 -
Re: An excerpt
S he could remember vividly what happened. It was the second semester of high school. She was this new transfer student in class, reserved and quiet and very unlike her ...
Dec 16, 2011 -
Re: complications
That was really dramatic, some case of adultery going on there if I got it right.OK, down to the review part, I think the framework of the poem is good, ...
Dec 15, 2011 -
Re: Love turned to hate
My love, I hate you, This passion in my heart Stems not from unending springs of love But from the stench of the stale river Where we once knew love ...
Dec 15, 2011 -
Re: I'm so into you
This is a song about a girl in a relationship gone sour, she's reminiscing about a time when she felt safe and happy with the guy who is talking about ...
Oct 7, 2011 -
Re: Memories of youth
This is beautiful. I love the rhythmic way this sounds. The imagery it depicts is wonderful. Of how fleeting our life and youth is. Yesterday is gone and we only ...
Sep 23, 2011 -
Re: Crossroads [Chapter 1]
What do you do when something that was so wrong, suddenly becomes right, sometimes we choose and at other times, the choices are made for us, Audrey Simmons, scarred by ...
Sep 23, 2011 -
Re: The Backseat Role
Hi, I loved your poem. I'm not too sure about the ending though. I think It had a great start and the enthusiasm of the reader should flow through to ...
Sep 6, 2011 -
Re: Pieces
Thanks sarebear. Unfortunately, the character Isey Daughan does not have a boyfreind/crush/lover. She has no time to pursue all that. Her one and only love interest is Jesus; and yes, ...
Sep 4, 2011 -
Re: The Journey
Great Imagery there. A little capitalization error there but nothing to disrupt the flow of the poem. It felt like the perfect poem for a book I read, 'The pilgrimage', ...
Sep 2, 2011 -
Re: Pieces
Get one on one with these characters and feel free to give your opinion ISEY DAUGHAN Isey is a God fearing teenager. She became a christian at the tender age ...
Sep 2, 2011 -
Re: Off the track
Hi, I love your story. "I stop in that quiet street and think at the thought. When will I have a life of my own? I have it already; dammit! ...
Aug 30, 2011 -
Re: Burs
Good writing. Ok, I'll just highlight a few areas that I think needs correction: " In (anaphase) of hers- the word for the scientific division of cells felt kind of ...
Aug 29, 2011 -
Re: Basmati
By reading this at first glance, I'm not even sure if this is a poem or just someone narrating or describing her fantasies. There was some capitalization errors with the ...
Aug 29, 2011 -
Re: Invisible
Wow...Lots of anger and emotion displayed in this poem which could have been put to better use in a less offensive choice of language. First of all, this should have ...
Aug 29, 2011
