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Okay, I can't let people go blind so lets explain. The women who Amber just killed without permission needs to live. She's an enemy and part of the Van Helsing ...

God I'm so sorry I can't be much help. But it was perfect seriously. I really couldn't stop reading it after a while. I only got confused when girl went ...

Nothing much I can say about this that's not been said although I've yet to hear a Mum say "c'mon. I agree about cliche aspect Harry Potter ain't only wand ...

Okay lets begin and try make this better presentable wise and, everything wise. I'm sorry that sounds harsh but it's only way I improved. Description: A mysterious british girl, a ...

Okay this was slow moving, I agree about squeeky floorboards terribly cliche. I imagined she was in an abandoned home at first. You're imagery was good but the start didn't ...

It was a rather interesting start but it didn't pull me in. I got confused rather alot and maybe should make who's who clearer I was like who was Acyln ...

Dave pushed with all his might and helped close the door, there new boss seemed so tired. He was glad at this moment she was doing a good job. He ...

Full Name: Lireal Gender: Female Age: 50 (Elvish equivalent 17) Birthplace: The Wounded Dwarf Inn Father's Name: Diznarden Mother's Name: ? Race: Dark Elf Eye Color: Hazel (Though Red in ...

Adrian carefully took off his gauntlet when no one was looking. His fingers were horribly bloody. The thing was it was his sword hand. His gaze fell towards Becky how ...

Okay I would of done this earlier but I couldn't be bothered to be honest. So now I'm on a critqueing spree. I like this short, simple and true. I ...

Hmm this confused me and personally seems to belong in romantic fiction more. I agree alot about black soul I never really grasped who the narrator was. I liked Barrio ...

I like this Kay, I noticed no mistake and for a free write this was very exceptional. If I hadn't seen this on YWS I could imagine this in a ...

For a minute i thought Clown was going to kill himself in front of everyone and god I felt his sorrow making that speech and being laughed at. A Carny ...

Hmm I liked this a bit reminds me of some of my earlier writing, I once wrote a version of three little pigs which made wolf sound good. Okay I'm ...

Anderson had no where to go he'd lied about whatever. He kept turning thinking he'd see Senna running after him her gorgeous form. He shook that thought away quickly, it ...