deleted6

Lookie here.

Okay it's been ages since I've posted and I was bored so took four photos today and here's one older photo in my room. :p My messy room take 1 ...

4:48pm Day 1 Dave Dave decided he needed to check something, no one had noticed him go and he wouldn't be gone too long. People don't generally lock themselves in ...

Hmm okay, this was bad okay, but if you put more in this, I'd feel sorrow more for the character, lets begin. Suggestions blue Corrections red If text underlined it's ...

CCF, I request in here not for critque but to join the family. I largely felt unworthy before but admire you're work. Now I critque more and wish to become ...

Hmm truthfully not my sort of story, but a nice idea just need to work on keeping readers entranced. Explain character actions and explain background as well as foreground. The ...

Dave had one thing on his side at least. He looked to Keri, Kat then over to Adara. It was a nice night, but a storm was brewing outside, not ...

Hmm this has been done before and I read this and saw nothing new. Could you maybe tell us what or who Earth is fighting. Plus it's very Halo-esque. In ...

Oh sorry, Dan I got help with this from Dono, so understand didn't try this character on my own. I'll just fix it. Edit: What do I do?

... .... (O_O) Ah... Erm... *takes a deep breath* Okay sorry but god that so scared, the title doesn't suggest something scary. This was freaky, I suspected him but when ...

Hmm I like this alot. The start is my problem I feel. I feel you mention too many words that have a glo sound. I'll show you. In the window ...

Hmm I felt Jason was a very Gary Sue type character so was his friend. Very unoriginal and I almost stopped reading when i saw you'd written they were "the ...

I liked this and the vagueness was good. It was a nice short peice and left people wanting to know more. Where is this set though, what country. I think ...

Okay this is an intresting start a warning though this could very put off some more mature or older people you know. Hmm now continuing this young style the repition ...

Lireal She walked, though it was more like a trot, this was getting far too dangerous she swore never too get complacent but every time she refused to kill. She ...