deleted6

Also, I wasn't sure that your narrator was a guy until they mentioned him being a firefighter. Can you mention that a little earlier? I agree with Lyrical I was ...

This is sweet and like how ya started :). My advice would be careful this topic has been used alot. I wouldn't say overused if approached right. Now to you ...

This was intersting, but even though it's just on Princess we never get much character development from anyone. A bit from the Princess. Nothing much else. It's reminds me of ...

I like this, I really like this. alot of name dropping though. That's quite confusing. But I found this the best chapter. It's nice it's relaxing. It's actually my favourite ...

Finally we have some rest sort of, except action should be not be in. Plus Deus Ex Machina again, you're terrible for it. In real life things don't happen for ...

Hmm, too fast. I agree with Jared. Way too fast. I was like thinking hmm a change from Aedomir. I'm getting bored of him. Right now I just feel he's ...

I like this, apart from the mysterious power. I really wished you'd elaborate on it. It's confusing slightly. I like idea of this I thought maybe it was a person ...

Well as I'm reading this after next few chapter posted. I know he's alive :p. Boy I'm cruel lmao. Anyway overall a better chapter you're improving but don't get complacent. ...

Hmm, this chapter didn't do it for me. It wasn't the scene. I just felt some things not really explained. I've some advice for ya. I've found a great author ...

Well better, but now I feel this is getting cliche. I'm still enjoying it, but suddenly he releases this overwhelming power why not before why now? You can put something ...

Okay I shall begin Aedomir. Most of major things been pointed out before me. You've still not fixed this. a jet black ground had burnt from the ice WTF! What ...

Well I've got all of them except the newest one which I wished would of carried on from Free Gladers. I prefer hearing about that. I was shocked that both ...

*Phew* I was afraid I would get slapped for liking books with illustrations. But they are highly original. Unlike these. There are characters we've never seen, wonderful species, floating rocks, ...

Hmm, Aedomir did the grammar. I'll emphasise that. What I said again about it being Church I swear vampires can't enter them. Also my friend ages ago tried writing a ...

Well, I'm not about to give out to you for liking them. I like The Edge Chronicles *blushes*. We all have some sort of guilty pleasure. And I do read ...