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Firstly I'll give my title suggestion: Abstract Reaction. Now on with review this story struck me as very well written. You do show, but you tell more. Maybe descrease that ...

You're really thirteen? O_O. That's my first reaction, this is... this is beautiful. My one complaint is I don't like or understand 'sheets of purity' Maybe just try and make ...

Andy was right, this peice was exellently written. :). I like how you don't tell us right away it's two boys. When I heard forbidden I thought of incest or ...

My overall opinion. Typical Karina... making such a horrendous thing like that, so surreal and weird. Then of course that's why we love ya. I'm going for a shower soon ...

Well that shocked me, I thought this was gonna end up with a suicide. It's intresting, the title caught my eye. Your main issue is probably you go on and ...

dude no one can tell anyone that something is not a poem. u guys are crazy. if it was written to be a poem, it's a poem, no matter what. ...

You do really hit us continuelly with this. My hed feel like it's been hit with a sledgehammer. It's a nice idea but repeation of fear, is very bad. I ...

Sorry to bring down your parade, but the start of the poem. It drones on and on. You've exellent word choice yet at the beginning you go on and on. ...

Normally I'm not a fan of cliches. They detract from peice but to get over idea it's rather ingenius. You use every cliche you can think of, but the end ...

Not so much original as everyone says, Spider a lot of the time represent predators. Trapping people. It's nice but not very original. I cannot agree with the others. You ...

My main problem was the repetion of 'Mum' couldn't you start a stanza differently? It is powerful, but not as powerful to me. You also have the title all in ...

Erm... right... Okay this really is far too long! There is no puncuation. Worsely it's 'poor me' You except us to feel sorry you murdered your wife or lover? That's ...

I can't believe I'm gonna say this Brad, but I wasn't much a fan of this. It could of been the disjointedness. Or just I plain have not got a ...

Hmm, I really like this poem, my problems with it is no puctuaction and you love using hyphens. I admit I've a fondness for them, but commas are well and ...

Love blossoms like a rose, (Too cliche, why can't a Dandelon represent love?) And as it twists and turns; (Just what it needed, it flows better now!) It is tested. ...