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Brilliant peice and amazingly written character I really felt his fear but I was kinda lost for a bit it was his Mum. You probably should try to make this ...

This seems like a rant on lies. You use aggressive words then suddenly use a word like 'circulation' that doesn't fit. You know I needed to double check the title ...

This madness has gone too far, blackened and dead with fear. The cloak of silence is thrown, the time of judgement quite near. And all shall reap what they've sown, ...

Yes... seriously you repeat words let me show: (The parts in bold are the ones you repeat) The alleys began to clear of its shadows as the sun peaked its ...

Done yar Camille. I wish ya'd posted ya's in chapters Twit. It's much better and saves people with limited time. I really hate it when people all post it in ...

I swung my head around to glare at Mrs. Watson, my advisory teacher. She sat placidly behind her cluttered mahogany desk, hands forming a steeple over piles of half-graded papers. ...

Firstly Katsuro the start is far too repeative. All 'she-she-she' It okay to start with it. But continueing with it stagnates the flow. Plus the start doesn't really hook me ...

Cat... we have many phrases for this type of poetry. 'Poor me', 'Angst' and 'Navelgazing' Not only do you tell us all. You bore us by the first few lines ...

Nope. They're not real. There are evil spirits, angels. Ghosts do not exist because once a person dies and their souls ya know goes somewhere, they can never go back ...

Hmmm... since this is a first I'll hold back some of the biting and sarcasm. A lot of this asks too much and tells too much. You need to think. ...

A lot of the word you choose in this are too advanced for the format and seem only to be there as if to say. "I know big words! Hah." ...

Very nice Karina. I felt music from this as i read each line I heard a flute. I6t's rather odd as I'm listening to rock and punk lmao. Damn my ...

Sittin here writing to the girl of my future, whom my heart belongs to in the present/ I save myself for your presence, Assuredly expecting God to move you in ...

Punctuation really is a must in most poetry. It's an original idea but too broad an idea. You concentrate on too many thing. Instead stop and go for one. After ...

Hmm... this seems great... but I can't make head or tail of it. It seems to abstract, the idea too confusing. I really don't like the type of poem here, ...