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Glad you're seeing my point. I'll say nothing more on my review of this poem. But I'd be willing to read the rewrite of this Mizz. Good luck VSN

Hmm... oddly enough my opinion changed on this. You tell far too much rather than showing. It's a great chapter but you tell us all rather than showing. You also ...

Jeeze Jono, I'm so sorry no one said this. You keep my interest and you flesh out Leo better. It's extremely intresting I'm really curious about what's going on. Leo ...

You really hooked me with this peice never once did I wonder if it was any longer I loved it. You do everything exellent trickling the details in the only ...

It was his hometown he was found distrubuting leaflets. He ran because he almost ended up in coma. But guess ya could look it up. But really it angers me...

This is truly creepy it very intresting how ya get into his mind and what he see's. Really it's super creepy... super... Overall: This earns a star but god so ...

A gay asylum seeker from Syria has been offered a cash payment by the UK government to return to his home country, a place where homosexuality is illegal and he ...

Well here I go again. (I hate double posting) My main beef was it's so telling why not use a metaphor or personify it. Give us a feeling don't tell ...

I wish ya'd posted ya's in chapters Twit. It's much better and saves people with limited time. I really hate it when people all post it in one thread. *bit ...

This seems a nice idea, but not enough to comment on. You should give us more from right now this seems more like a prologue. I've never heard of the ...

You had an exellent rhythem but an overdone idea. Of course I can relate but still doesn't interest me enough. Why the heck you use the word 'Suitor' that's too ...

Now I know why I couldn't aborb the words they were so overdone and boring. You should probably drop cliches and write this in a much more original and true ...

Very nice. One thing before post anything on YWS review at least two peices by other people. That way you have 2 reviews per post ratio making in theory more ...

I really don't like Carrie, I felt the Prince more realistic and you don't give us detail of world. It's got magic but it's got tennis courts. Modern or Fantasy. ...

Horrific... truly horrific... I wonder if guilt caught up on him. Leading him to confess. It can happen.