deavarna_satina

Wow... this is really captivating. You have written it very well and the emotions can be felt through the whole piece. It's so brave of you to write about something ...

Evelyn’s mother fussed over her obsessively, trying every avenue to weasel a confession out of her melancholic daughter. But talking was the last thing that Evelyn wanted to do. ‘Please ...

I do think you have something here. It seems almost criminal to end it there. I think you should let John have his revenge after his life and love were ...

I really loved this piece. Your descriptions were beautiful. They twisted and spiralled, pirouetting like ballerinas, slender and curving. Loved this metaphor. Very appropriate, but not the first thin

Hmm... good. I liked it. Overall I think that your descriptions were well done and your story caught me from the beginning. I'm a sucker for a good vampire romance ...

Oh no, did you have to stop there? I was completely absorbed! I can see that you are getting into the meat of the story now and I am liking ...

A sudden inspiration took me for a short story while I was working. What was meant to be a few pages turned into a bit more... and a bit more... ...

I think you have something here. You caught me with your description of the shadowy stranger; I would really like to know more about him. I liked the preface. With ...

Very good. Bravo. I relly enjoy your writing style. I like Anica's character; her take on her invisability is well-written. Loved the first few paragraphs about the feild and the ...

Wow, that was quite excellent. I really did enjoy it. I like the outlook Sandly Limerick has on the war and what has become of London. You have portrayed his ...

Beginning, very good. A delicious tale of forbidden love is what it says to me. yummy... though I have been wrong before, so my apologies if I'm off the mark. ...

I enjoyed this poem immensly. It was short and sweet, but the wording flowed easily and the pain portrayed felt very real. I find rhyming often spoils poems, but you ...

Wow. That was... a truely great read! Your expression and description were fantastic and I particularly like the way you captured the repressed emotions of Rachel. Also loved you character ...

It has potential. The story line was good, and it's left me eagerly awaiting the next installment. My only suggestions are use more description and proof read it a few ...

I know it's a little cliché, but there is only so much you can do within the guidlines that my teacher gave me. Anywho, I appreciate any tips on improvements ...