deadly_teapot

sure...deadly teapot is kinda...long. Hah..just like my real name. Except shorter? Teapots fine, loleth. Anyway...I agree..Details are good. Especially seemingly random ones like....er....wow. Red van

I open my mouth, So that I may speak, But words do not come out. This is a pretty good start in the sense that they cast an image of ...

In my opinion it seems mostly ok as it is. The rhyming doesnt feel forced and it's not really that noticeable which part rhymes or not. I like it's flow, ...

aha! I see what you mean. It doesnt exactly..make sense because I'm guessing i left out the bits you'd need to know for it to make sense! Hah..this is me...always ...

Love I would like if you merely came across to me and said what i'd love to say What isn't loving anymore? and what isn't good? those meaningless words turned, ...

:Edits in Italics: if only you could calm me down in my damned staccato lifestyle cos i'm tired of all you've never given and i'm tired of losing you to ...