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Re: Princess story for contest
Is there any history involved in this story? This should be in the Fantasy Section. I see that you just recently joined the site, Welcome. This has some potential but ...
Fri Nov 25, 2011 9:35 am -
Re: time unyeilding
He knew time, he felt time for eighty seven years he felt time. He felt it wear upon him like no other abrasive. Abrasion His bones hurt, his heart barely ...
Tue Oct 18, 2011 3:40 pm -
Re: A Sanguine Dance
I like what the user above have said. The older man had a tall and filled-out figure. Not a hefty one, but one with meat on the bones. His face ...
Sun Sep 25, 2011 1:19 pm -
Re: Nightshade Chapter 6
This story is okay but it could be better. For one, you do not describe the surroundsing. You tell not show us, the readers, what is going on and how ...
Sun Sep 25, 2011 1:03 pm -
Re: Dark Wrath: Chapter Six
Okay this is pretty good but you could make it better. First off, put more details and descriptions in the story. I feel like you are telling us, the readers, ...
Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:45 pm -
Re: Paper Plane
A flower without light is doomed to die. Only your letters gave me the light I needed, but my eyes are so blurred I can no longer read them. I ...
Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:14 am -
Re: Prisoner
This was pretty good. There are a few mistakes. 1) You switched from I and her to I and you. At one time, at a certain place, I fell in ...
Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:05 am -
Re: Let Me In
I beg to differ. This is a good story. I like how the details are. I like the feelings in this. But you mentioned that this was from a scene ...
Sat Jul 30, 2011 7:30 pm -
Re: Apocalypse
I will say I am so happy some one wrote a zombie story. I don't see a lot of those around here. Okay, here's my review. Since this is written ...
Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:02 pm -
Re: A Glass of Water
Ziggy made some good points. I was wondering about the girl's age. I pictured a young girl and I was thinking why is she not afraid of the dark? The ...
Sat Jul 16, 2011 2:38 pm -
Re: Witchy - ness Chapter 1
Well, I notice you made a lot of grammer mistakes. I mean a lot. This is a good start though. I like how this is going. I noticed you changed ...
Sun Jul 10, 2011 5:24 pm -
Re:
I think this is so good. It is really good. Against anger.Against hatred.Against fear.Against violence.Against the perverse.Against that which no god can conjur.Against that which is never truly defea
Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:37 am -
Re: Peice of a 'wet' heart !
Well, first, It seems you just recently joined yws. So I would like to say welcome. Second, this is a really good story. I like your style of writing. This ...
Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:27 am -
Re: I Never Gave Up
Well, first, I want to say that was a nice story. Yes racism is bad. It is worse than bad, it is horridous. Like what Justtrying said you have grammer ...
Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:42 pm -
Re: Random Story Generator Contest 13-17
Okay, first off, I thought the dude was bent on destroying New York City until I read the end which surprised me. I think you need more details. Show people ...
Sat Jul 02, 2011 7:49 am
