cooldude19967

I noticed that your story was a bit choppy. Although it wasn't confusing like some the story line was said in such a straightforward manner it was almost boring. I ...

I'm a little confused about the dragon. Earlier you said their very only 17 still in exisence, so how is it that Max owns one? And how is it that ...

I liked it, but the brackets, while containing interesting information seemed unessecary to me. I liked what was in them, but is their someway you could incorperate them into the ...

This seems disjointed. To be honest, I got bored partway through, and seeing as this should have been rather exciting that shouldn't have happened. Maybe more emphasis on the running ...

To be honest it's OK, but a bit confusing. The flow is off. If you edited it and made it more understandable it could be good, but at the moment, ...

I liked it! Your version of Cinderella is so much more entertaining the the norm, and you give good personality to the narrator, especially right in the beggining. One thing ...

I like it, but I'd like to know more about Nessa's personality. I know that there's someone in her head, but more information about how she deals with her school ...

Very nice! You captured the feeling of that situation well! The only critisim I noticed that really distracted me was this, you used the word hell way to often. That ...

I like your concept and your characters, but I have two questions: 1. What is a lang? I know they're somthing that is attacking and that they have hands, but ...

Better. You described more people and it was more interesting than your last. The ending seemed a little off to me though. And why dosn't kel have time to think ...

I also have not read the beggining of this, but what I have read sounds good! Because I havn't read the other bits I didn't know there was anyone else ...

It took me a while to get into your script, but once I did I could visualize it easily enough. I like the character of the boss. To me the ...

A very good story! It kept my attention right to the end, and more. I know very little abbout the time period you are writing from, but the scene came ...

Very good! I haven't read this series in a while, but you brought it all back to me! I hope you continue this, I'd like to see more! 1 question, ...

I've read Tamora Pierce, actually, I just reread this series, and I still have to say it makes little sense to me. It needs some major editing and seems to ...