cooldude19967

My third scene, and the first part of the play that features the "actors", for those of you who were waiting for it. This is personally my second favorite plot ...

Thank you for you input. I think your right about Oberon, even I have trouble with his lines, and I should tone it down. You've given me the drive to ...

Double post. That was annoying. Ok, now that I'm done with that, on to your story. The main odd thing I noticed was this, why does the cheif ask why ...

I like the idea, but the first part confused me really badly, and because of that I can't say if it's to short or not. The second part I like ...

Confusing. I think you might want to add some more obvious breaks in there to show when you are jumping ahead in time. Also it was annoying to have to ...

I was going to comment of your horrid capitalization, but reading Teague's post I think I know why that was now. You really could use spell check more though, there ...

A bit less interesting than your first bit, but that's pretty natural considering your first bit had to do with a ran dom body showing up in a garden. You ...

I was really confused at the beggining and your story still leaves a lot of questions to be answered at the moment. The main one is basically this, why on ...

I noticed that you jumped right from when Rain was a kit to when s/he was old enough to be teaching another kit. Was there a reason for that? It ...

Thank you so much for that reveiw. I seenow that I have some huge grammer problems through out the script, and someof them were repeated so often in only this ...

I'm playing Scrooge in a school play (A mix of Oliver Twist and a Christmas Carol), and we were supposed to introduce our character to the world, his past, his ...

Thanks you two! I will!

I feel like this is a stupid question, but I'd really like to know. How do you get the bolded black letters underneath your name and above you avatar? I've ...

Actually, this was never meant to be a story, I wrote it as a homework assignment for Drama, but got a bit carried away. I've decided that I like it, ...

This was really to short of a piece for me to critique, but it does look pretty goo so far. I assume the fantasy bit is going to come in ...