cooldude19967

Banned for only having 4 reveiws.

I'm sorry, but I really didn't like this one. It was really dark, which must have been your intention, but the title didn't fit at all. The Perfect Murder? There ...

OK, the main beef I've had through out this entire script, and now I can finally give it to you. Why is Prate in this piece? He hasn't spoken a ...

I noticed that after Blaine makes a profound statement about Mute dieing Sage doesn't acknowledge it at all but just tells him to go on with the story. That seemed ...

I found the part when they were talking about why Sage was down there for two years remarkably hard to decipher, and I didn't realize that he knew he was ...

Still enjoying this. And I was pretty close on the ages to. Anyways, in this particular bit what jumped out at me was Sage's long monologue, and to tell the ...

I liked it, but I agree that you should wait longer before making the colors fade. It would make it seem more realistic and it would be more emotional when ...

Warning... I write plays, but I've never tried to critique them in my life. I hope this does help though, even if it is shorter. Age: I'd say Mute is ...

Creating characters... It's like you can make new lives and play with them. Giving them thoughts, feelings. Deciding whether or not to make them shallow or deep, to stereotype them ...

To be honest, I found your story choppy to the extream, and Luxa's character was pretty unbeleiveable. Jealousy is one thing, but why on earth does she break into tears? ...

I have pretty much the same problems with this as I did with your other two, so I'm not going to bother repeating them. The two main ones that stood ...

That was beautiful, emotional, not at all what I expected. If you do edit it more I would sugest the third bit, it made the least amount of sense to ...

I like it, but found it boring. If it hadn't been so short I might have stopped reading. Maybe adding some type of hook would liven it up, or even ...

WOW! I really like this. It seems like a topic that has been done before, but you did it so well! Normally I don't try to critique stories that I ...

I found that your story was slow, but interesting. I didn't get board halfway through like on some others. The information you gave about the boys was good, it really ...