convintojm

it felt like a lot of images thrown at the reader so they drown in them and have no idea what's going on or what they're even suppsoed to be ...

I struggled equally to follow the directions I printed from the web and not to let you know that we’re lost as you sit consenting in a makeshift blindfold made ...

i thought it sounded a bit juvenile and think maybe it deserves a bit more consideration and depth.

honestly i think it sounds like you really don't know how truly horrifying war can be. the poem is too light to truly contain the degree of emotion that should ...

i agree that the short lines make it too choppy and don't really work as well as they should for this poem.

Watching her hands, I think if I have only one regret (I don’t think I could handle more) let it be that I didn’t learn how to make magic, make ...

honestly i think it could stand to be shorter. though pain and grief are very complicated i find often the longer someone goes on about it the less poignant it ...

i thought it was too general and so i couldn't feel anything for the narrator which made the poem meaningless. it also feels like i've seen something like this too ...

first thanks for all the responses. i agree with the comment about using life twice at thebeginning but when i try it without it doesn't seem clear enough and i ...

be more specific. add some more concrete things to make it more real. it's too general.

i felt nothing for the person so i just couldn't like it. if left me with this and i care why sorta feeling.

i think it's interesting but i'm not sure what i'd think of it without your introduction so i dont' think i can simply judge the poem.

all i can say is it's very dizzying and i don't mind the lack of captials it adds to the streaming thoughts feel. i can see why it might not ...

i liked it. for some reason it struck me that you used her mother's money instead of a father not that i don't like it it just struck me as ...

i agree that you need some more variation in your word use. and that there needs to be more. i feel like i can't really judge till i see more.