convintojm

for the most part it was really good but i hate hearing about girls who want to be thin it's bordering on cliche at this point even though i realize ...

i agree with galatea's comments and strongly suggest you consider at least most of them. other than that it didn't really grab me. i got to the end and i'm ...

pretty and simple in its point. but while it sounds wonderful the idea/subject seems a litle used.

even i (one who tends to be quite literal and foward in my poetry) think it was a little too straightfoward. but i love the one line stanzas. i think ...

i don't mind men taking care of themselves cause everyone should take care in their appearance but the removal of leg hair doesn't seem neccessary to me. if they want ...

i only got like a 46 which to me seems to make perfect sense. i'm ok with being lackluster in my commitment to write and i don't really write stories ...

some interesting images but it was too vague overall

while i liked it the burning of memories as i'm sure you know is a touch overdone. i think it's expressed well and i like the twist at the end. ...

whether it was forced or not it reads forced and choppy at times. also the constant rhyme makes it too bouncy sounding.

talk about something more specific. there's nothing individual or defining in it. but do make it too specific so that no one will connect to it. there needs to be ...

Running home with wet sneakers from the lake chased by a boy who grew up all too fast. The summer heat settles thick in the air. You know tomorrow will ...

it was too general in my opinion and didn't really hold my attention.

i like it, but i'm not sure about the two ands in the last bit i think a comma or without and or the comma woudl be better (i know ...

i liked the feel of it. i agree about the ending though. the despite doesn't fit. but i think you accomplished the feel you were going for quite well and ...

I'd like to know if this sounds even a little bit interesting and any other comments are welcome. and as a note it is intended to become a short story ...