clueless

Hahahahahahaha.....sorry.....I found this amusing.... My name's Mary.

Thanks, I'll definitively keep working at it!

Thanks so much Sunny! Very very helpful.

thanks, time for revision!

thanks snoink, i'll check it out.

Jelly fish...hmmm.... :roll:

I say lets all go take a moral-boosting course! btw, lyrics to a hit song, right in that poem. go for it. =)

I'd say the way you put the ring on the over turned case really directs to the center of the ring because the case turns into a sorta arrow to ...

Boy boy boy.

J. It's not your fault. Don't think that. Cause it's not. Beautiful poem, conveyed what you feel perfectly. But don't ever, ever, think it was your fault.

Hey Ghost. Hannah is very right. But she is also right in saying, Don't give up! It has to have flair to catch anyones eye. Right now in this poem ...

BFG, thanks, I'll work on this one a little more with all the suggestions you gave and try to repost it sometime soon. your comments really got me thinking. --Clue.

God, (haha i feel a lil weird calling you that. :wink: ) I think you got my point exactly, even adding your own imagry in there. :) everyone - thanks, ...

Darn. Forever Threnody beat me to the full bod crit, but maybe i can add something... this tale is of Hannibal a great general was he with eyes like a ...

Thanks Tim. =) "trickling over broken glass" is supposed to make you think of water. Maybe I didn't make that clear enough...? Also, I'm not going ot explain it...yet. I ...