chocoholic

Aww... that was really sweet. For some reason I never see poems about parents, and you pulled it off really nicely. you prick them once and once again. you prick ...

This was sweet. The depressing love poem thing, nah. I'm not into that. But this was differnet somehow. seemes seems dam(m/n)ed damned Apart from those two words, there didn't seem ...

Nice. I'm assuming there's more coming, it doesn't seem quite finsihed to me. I think you need more description. You didn't say much about where they were, so I was ...

Nice. Your description were nice, the only thing I can complain about was the length (but you did say there was more coming, so I don't need to worry). remanned ...

That was very good. It was sort of horroh, but sort of not, if you get what I mean. The only complaint is that there wasn't much description or emotion. ...

I didn't like this. First of all, it was very hard to read because it was ingle-spaced, and then you were missing so much description, that I didn't know who ...

Haha! That was really funny. I couldn't find any mistakes, but there were a couple of bits that bugged me a bit. trying to get her to shut up and ...

This was nice. Peaceful. The writing flowed well and it was very descriptive. There wasn't any mistakes, but it did get a bit boring in the end. Nothing happened. There ...

Cool story. I love reading about the Second World War, anything about it. This story was really great. The characters were well developed and interesting, and the plot was, well, ...

I really liked this poem. It was so sweet and sad. The descriptions and memorie type things were really good. is like calculating the frequency Shouldn't it be, Is like ...

Hmm... what can I say? Well, it was shorter, that's definetely much better than part one. I think your writing has improved a lot since part one, but there's still ...

Well, first of all, you're not very likely to get many crit's with a piece this long. I would stringly suggest splitting it up into a few parts and posting ...

Hi Razorblade! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get around to critiquing this, but I am, finally! I'm liking it. Your plot and characters are very engaging, ...

I liked it, but I got a little bored after a while. Also, I would take the advice given to you before and mix it up a little, perhaps make ...

Well, that was very interesting. I'm taking it it's not finished. I hope it's not, because I'm really liking it. There are grammar mistakes in every part which can easily ...