chocoholic

Jasmine and Muffin, thank you so much for offering to read it, but I already have quite a few people agreeing to read it from all over the place. I ...

Wow! That's really good. I don't understand about the mother's death. Is it because of the father, and he killed both of them? But if it was him, I thought ...

I quite liked it. The innocence of a child. The bit about the money is very good. When I was little, I thought we were really rich andf had loads ...

I can't say I loved this poem, but that's more my taste in writing than your actual writing. The flow was a bit akward. Sometimes it was really good, and ...

I liked it. What you were saying was awesome. Just to merely express I think the wording on this should be changed around a bit. It just didn't seem to ...

To be honest, I didn't like it very much. I think this would be better suited in lyrics than in poetry. I didn't really get what you were trying to ...

Okay, first of all, your grammar is non-existen here. You need to capitalise i. and with the years of seconds that passed I didn't get this line. if only you ...

Title (temporary or otherwise) : Their End of the World Genre (fantasy, sci-fi, horror, etc): YA/Literary Summary of your NaNo (as much of one as you can give) : My ...

This was shorter than the first bit, but I thought it was better. There wasn't as much explaining of the world. Just story. "You'd do well to stop insulting me. ...

This is just something I wrote in a few minutes. I'm not very please with the ending. ------------------------- Sitting at a desk, The room is empty. You are the only ...

Nice. It's about a diary or journal, right? Moving onto the next entry, wanting a differnet past when you read it back and not being able to properly describe all ...

Really, what does everyone have against it? I don't see what's so bad about it. Most of my poetry could be classifed as 'emo', not because I'm an emo, but ...

This was really good. There was one bit I didn't understand- The truth lead to tears. From everything she heard. I think it should be, The Truth lead to tears, ...

Well, making it night is always good. Having a dark, deserted house in the middle of nowhere is useful. And then having a group of people who get split up ...

I might join if you put a fiction thread in. I do write poetry, but I prefer fiction.