chocoholic

I haven't lost my aby yet because I haven't written one. I mean, the stuff I come up with is good, but I haven't actually created a masterpiece yet. But ...

I really think you've got something going here, but it needs a re-work. First of all, you need to show us what's going on, not just tell us. It gets ...

I'm on the other side of the world in the hot Australia (which I hate! Heat sucks!) and every Summer there's bushfires down in the bush, so they'll be starting ...

Haha! That was so funny! I should try somethign like that sometime. Couldn't see any mistakes apart from you spelt jewllery wrong in one part. Great idea.

Okay, first of all, pleae double-space your work. Like this: Stephen sat on the dirty New York City bus stop. He checked his primly polished Rolex; 12:43 PM. The next ...

I didn't see any tense problems, actually. And yes, your ending... well, the 'it was just a dream' thing is overused and boring. Perphaps if she was dreaming about something ...

First of all, it is polite and part of the rules to critique at least two pieces of writing before posting your own. And even then, you should try to ...

Hi Kim! Welcome to YWS, I hope you like it here. Don't worry about your work beging a little rusty, you'll get loads better if you're active on the site. ...

Ah... homework, homework. How I miss it! I don't go to the most, acdemic, of schools, and I hardly get homework so I have plenty of time on YWS. Anyway, ...

Hi! Let me be the first to officially welcome you to YWS (unless someone beats me, then hopefully I'll be the second!). What genre do you like to write? What ...

I liked it. The imagery was good, I could defenetly see what was going on, and it was creepy. There wasn't any mistakes (that I could see, someone else might ...

Hehe. They must have been nice markers! I know what that's like, but I go out and end up buying chocolate. I couldn't see any mistakes, it was just a ...

8/10 I like birds of prey, but I don't get the gyr bit

When's part 12 coming?

(I rated this R, just in case) In my NaNoWriMo I have to write a sex scene. Actually, it's a rape scene. I've been practising a bit, just with 'the ...