chocoholic

Thanks for all the crits. I left this one for a while, but I decided to edit it a bit today.

By cuisine, do you mean cousin? If you do, then we both have cousins on this site! How funny! The letter was sweet. I liked it. I was just wondering, ...

That was really good. But just one thing, please double space your writing. It's very annoying when people on the internet write single-spaced, because it can get very hard on ...

It's... good. I like what you're saying, I'm just not sure about how you're saying it. My heart pounds as I wait for his anger to lash out, Maybe, My ...

Yay! More! Well... let's see... I still think there could be more. I'm a little confused as to what's going on, but I think I'm getting it. You need to ...

(Whatever. It's stew that no normal person would ever dream of eating) Lillian; Human Wanda grinned. "Ah, but that's the beauty of it. You'll have the most important part. After ...

(I don't know, but nobody else was.) Lillian; Human "Hello Wanda," I said, and walked into the rather large house. There was a book lying open on the table and ...

Pointless? I think not! To be honest, I prefer the non-drinking bits. I mean, they're cool and all, but I find these ones a lot easier to read and a ...

Lillian: Human I painted a long nail black. Around me, servants stood perfectly still, afraid to move. I laughed loudly and stood up. "Get me my carriage," I said. "I ...

That was... amazing! Absolutely amazing! Screw JK Rowling, you're the most amazing writer the world has seen!

Well, I think this could be very good with a bit more work. I didn't think the dialiuge was natural, and I was confused as to who Kai and Ameyo ...

Nice. Interesting concept. A poem about cigarettes. It was short, but that's okay. I think you could use more description. It's a bit simple at the moment. Your language is ...

I liked it. There was real feeling in it, and your language was good. Sorry, but I can't find any problems with it so this crit won't be very helpful. ...

Sounds fun. Name: Lillian Species/animal: Human, Snow White's step-mother Description/appearance: Beautiful. Tall, skinny, jet black hair, white skin and red lips. Character/Personality: To conquer th

Please go on with it! It was really funny. I couldn't find any mistakes, but it was really cool. You had better continue. (Sorry for the extremely unhelpful review).