chocoholic

Because my chapters are so short, I'm going to post two at a time, unless people think I should do otherwise. The actual story is set 320 years after the ...

I remember this joke, and searched it on the internet. No offence meant to anyone. George W. was visiting a Florida elementary school while a fifth grade class was in ...

I don't mess around with it. White page, black writing, Times New Roman, 12. When I write essays and stuff for school I'll put the title in the middle, then ...

You are the maggot of my body- munching and crunching away at the dusty must within my folds. So, poetry isn't my strong point, but I don't like how you ...

She gritted her teeth at the sound of her name being spoken by such a hated one, but her voice was even as she said, "leader of the Cørra." Why ...

I'd love another crit on my prologue. Thanks heaps.

“Mr. Benedict?” Good Lord, he’d come himself. Shouldn't you seperate the two parts? They seem to belong to two different paragraphs. His light footsteps sounded on the stairs, before he ...

Slung over a man’s shoulder, your perspective changes. As I bounced along on my captor’s shoulder, my brain stopped being able to grasp reality—which had strayed from the realm of ...

I had dozed off, as unlikely as that sounds. I woke as the door slid open. Unlike at my house, I was alert right away. These sentences seem very disjpined. ...

"Just drive!" growled the one who'd threatened me with the knife. Distantly, heard the shrill scream of a fire detector going off. The neighbors would be awake any second—I’d never ...

Okay, I know that there's so many of these threads that there should be a whole forum for them, but the holidays are coming up, and that equals boredem, plus ...

I'd love a couple more crit's on my prologue to decide whether I keep posting it. Thanks!

This is the prologue to my new novel. The actual story is set 320 years after this, but information from here is important, and more is told during the story. ...

Maybe a Romance, or perhaps a troubled life. If it wasn't a romance I'd probably buy it. I do quite like the title. The Gate of Glendon

I can't seem to find this anywhere on the site. How many critiques do you need to do for each star? Is it certain number for all stars, but are, ...