chocoholic

Before I critique this, I want to say that the font you have this in is really annoying. I'm changing this to an easier font in Word, ut next time ...

Can't speak Russian. I like learning Japanese. And I'm still not wearing any socks.

First of all, why do you say this is unfinished? It seems pretty complete to me. Second, you really need a better title for it. It's a really good piece, ...

awake before you started Just thinking, it would sound better if before was in italics. I’ll go plot the maps. Plot the maps? It may just be that I know ...

Here's my crit... I awoke hours later in the bunk I think you shoudl say, a bunk. The, implies that it's hers and she's already been there, and unless I'm ...

This usually wouldn't be something that would interest me, but I quite like this story so far. I thought your opening line was really good, and it set the story ...

That is so funny! What a moron for actually sending that letter!

Hi! Welcome to YWS! I hope you have a great time her (I'm sure you will). I'm here to help if you have any problems. Don't hesitate to PM me, ...

I'm winning! Ha! I'm beating you all!

I have a song that wants more critiques, would you be willing to do that for me? I'll definetely add you to my friends.

Well you still don't have any red stars, so heres something. It's a song I wrote: Also, you critiqued the first five chapters of How You Break My Heart. The ...

I'll try to help as much as I can... Siren 1: Dear sister - look at me - let me speak, on matters of the heart. I think you'll find ...

Kay? My hobbies: Singing, Horse Riding Place: Melbourne, Vic, Australia Attitude: I can be nice and polite, or I can be really mean. I'm usually very lazy and I'm better ...

guzzle the Bud What's 'the Bud'? “If I answer,” he said, “That gives the impression that something like this has happened before. That’s not the case though. I can guarantee ...

No I like singing. I am not wearing socks.