chocoholic

I liked the prison, spitting faces and the boat. The face was a bit weird, the angle was annoying (I'm assuming it was up high and kind of impossible to ...

Wow! This is long, but I'll do my best. Let's see... A long time ago on a small isolated bay in the heart of a rich society There's something about ...

Hehe! That was so cute! I would be lovely as a children's book with pictures. “Hey Claire, what do you want?” Tim asked randomly. Who are these people? Why does ...

Haha! That was funny. The one thing I had a problem with was the intelligence of your MC. An eight year-old is not that smart, and would not speak in ...

Sometimes when I think too much, you all seem so far away, I sit and pine, my silent mind, it starts to cry. The first two lines are goo, but ...

It's a good short piece. But that's the problem. It's short. And very quick. I want to know more. Where exactly is she? Who are the people around her? What ...

making guns illigal will take them away from law abiding citizens Not always. Guns are illegal here, but there are normal people who have them. These people go through long ...

Welcome to YWS! The first thing I noticed when I had a look at this is that you haven't made any reviews. Here on YWS we have a two for ...

Well it looks like you need some critiques, so here I am. First of all, I'd consider asking a mod to move this to Other Fiction, it would be fine ...

That was really good. Totally wrong and completely terrifying, but awesome at the same time. And the thing is, this could be what society turns into, the way we're going. ...

The young tourist, high with the excitement of her first big city, is gaping and gleeful as she is swept along in the tide of native pedestrians. [Standing giddily before ...

Cool. I quite liked it. It was different, definitely. Your writing was good and there was no spelling mistakes hat I saw or words that I would change around or ...

This was really good. Just a normal girl's life, burdened by this horrible thing. But you didn't write it in a 'My life is so horrible, give my pity' way, ...

Welcome to YWS! The first thing I'd like to tell you is that here on YWS we have a 2 for 1 reviewing policy. I see that you haven't made ...

Banned for living on a lost planet from Doctor Who without me thinking of it first.