chichi

Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous! You're a great poet, you know that? Drifting Down, Floating. Flying The full stop after "Floating" is a bit awkward with the "Flying" straight after. I think ...

I'm not really getting the "Dr. Seuss" vibe here, but oh well. of a far and lonely place. How many times have you used "place" for a rhyme? 2..3..4. Someone's ...

Wow, for a poet you write some gewd fiction. One problem for me is that George's relation to the persona is hard to grasp. “Are you going to get out ...

I read through your comment in response to Jiggity's and I don't really think you can expect people to know this was the clashing of all-powerful forces or the Greek ...

I'm not going to correct your headnote, although there were a few mistakes in there. Anywho, on we go. I heard nothing at first but as I recovered from a ...

I have to agree with the other critiques, where is the rest of the story?? Come on, you cannot tell me you think this is complete. I think, however, that ...

Cute! I actually didn't mean to stumble into the non-fiction section, but now I'm glad I did. Global warming has not yet claimed our state, but it is only a ...

Oh boy, do I love the theatre. She takes a ragged breath and steps onto stage, waiting for applause that would never come. You already used "ragged" in the previous ...

I liked this a lot. Go mermaids! The whole beginning I was wondering about the scenery and sometimes even who was talking. Maybe a little more description, and although I ...

Wow! A draft?! I don't believe you. You didn't need to be scared to post it, I thought it was amazing. Your take on amnesia was both believable and real, ...

Wow! This wasn't just a sucky teenage soap-opera-like crush story, although in all truth I expected it to be. I'm amazed at the extent of your vocabulary, especially in a ...

I loved this! The dialogue was really natural and it was very well written. The flashback is a bit jerky but very relevant which is good. I grinned at that. ...

Wow, my dreams never make this much sense :wink: it's great and I have to agree with the other critiques, although I think you will probably have to make up ...

I agree with writ3rindisguis3 about the repetition of "fast" in the first paragraph, but overall this was a very good introduction, although you could have included a little more info ...

Alice stumbled out of the forest, which, when she looked back, seemed little more than a clump of trees. “That is the last time I listen to a cat,” she ...