carelessaussie13

Well, it's because it takes such cunning and pure, sheer genius to figure it out. I mean, sure, push and twist, but don't you remember the first time your fingers ...

Just thought I'd save you some trouble. If you've never read Clearwater before, please read the first part of it, which starts at the beginning of Chapter one. It's down ...

This poem is on a good topic but It didn't stir any emotion for me. Show us, don't tell us. Show us how the father in the poem starts drinking ...

Forgotten Child Ronan Rothschild, like almost every other child in Clearwater, had a summer job at a laboratory, helping some crazy scientist by carrying and cleaning and looking useful. Ronan ...

No, I didn't get the name Clearwater from Aveyond. I've never heard of it. I looked up the names of towns in Connecticut and then put Clearwater in Pennsylvania. Hee ...

CHAPTER ONE A Victim of Greed It happened slowly, so slowly that not even the wisest of the gods noticed. Not even the wisest noticed how jealous little Ixchel became. ...

Try going through and counting syllables and I think you'll find that your rhyme is significantly off beat. Correct that and voila! Yay! 8) bingo

The last two lines were off rhythm and didn't add much to the poem. The repetition was getting boring. I knew the entire feeling and subject of the poem by ...

This sounds exactly like the fields behind my house only a pear tree instead. I think you really captured the beauty of the field and the tree and the horses ...

I had no idea, reading it, that this was from the perspective of a kitten. So a suggestion: try making that clearer, if you're really attached tot he idea, or ...

Ooh! Pick me pick me! Maybe you could try setting the poem from the perspective of the same narrator as you have in this version, but instead set it as ...

I'm going to say this first. Yay! I love people who care about people! I'm going to say this second. In the first crit, claudette crossed out all the two-line ...

This poem has very good imagery, so bravo, but the world 'mash' seems out of place, less romantic and passionate and more five-year-old-ish. Also, the ending kind of drifts off, ...

My family was always from Sailles, until the Aju empire took us over in the year 253 in the Era of Metal. That's everyone's story, I suppose. Aju kind of ...

I wouldn't name it, I'd kill it and eat it. I see no sense in caring for a pet monkey. They are good for nothing and I am desperate for ...