carelessaussie13

Okay. So. This is a good place to start, but right now you've really got nothing here. They challenge with being a poet in to today's world is that so ...

I have to say I really liked this piece. It was great how you talked about the paint-smear on the wall and then the grease-smear on the vending machine, that ...

He was Alexander. Never Alex, never Xander, but Alexander. If you didn’t want to call him Alexander, he was Toxic. No one new why. He was a senior, which was ...

Deliciously funny. Although your use of the word "morbid" was a little off. A brain can't be morbid. Eating it can be morbid, though. Try grotesque, or squishy, or Jello-esque. ...

Hey! Okay, so this was really good, but I had a little bit of an issue. Maybe it was just a me-thing, but I guess I should tell you anyway, ...

What he said. Also, in the L2 S2 it seemed like that should have been "the threat of tomorrow", don't you? A promise is a mite too cheery.

omigosh! This was great. It was really refreshing to get a poem that inspires adrenaline but still kept a clear idea of being a poem, not an action story in ...

Yeah, what they said. Basically I think that while you're revising you ought to cinsider using longer lines. These short little broken up fragments seemed rather distracting from the whole ...

Beautiful, really beautiful. I love the way each stanza seemed to be a great struggle of breathing. I could practically hear the labored inhale and exhale. Wonderful work. My only ...

I know you're not supposed to give an introduction, but I feel that this piece needs one. I hope I don't offend anybody. I want to assure you that the ...

I hate to disagree with the others, but I think this still needs some work. It lacks imagery and emotion; it's the telling of a story, and we're not story ...

I stood in the face of danger. I, Persephone, who was the bringing forth of life in spring, I who stood among the powerful and the strong, I looked Death ...

Hi! *waves cheerily* I'm Aussie and for being new to poems that one's not bad at all. Here are some thoughts to take with you as you rework this poem ...

One thing you might want to think about is a little mistake I made while reading. When you said "marble newborn girl" I totally thought the baby was dead. It ...

Hmm. Very thought-provoking. I'm actually having trouble concentrating on writing this critique because I am thinking about whether or not I would do those things. . . Anyway, I only ...