carelessaussie13

This is the beginning of something I'm working on mostly for the practice writing subtext in my dialogue. For critiquers, that's what I'd most like to be critiqued on. Gracias! ...

The psychologist in the ratty T-Shirt paced back and forth atop the New York Lottery building. He’d woken up there yesterday, stripped of his usual tweed suit and bifocals. His ...

The Poet, more than any artist, has his work cut out for him. Firstly, there is nothing manly about rhyming lines, and it's a total hoax that girls find poets ...

Hi there, Okay, see here's the thing. You know how to describe a scene. You know how to describe a break-up and the pain of it. But what I'm seeing ...

Hi there, The first thing I saw in your poem is the way you struggled to rhyme. People do this so often; why bother with rhyming, anyway? Your words should ...

There was a little house on a quiet street in a quiet town. The house had its pros and cons, but it was always permanent, a fixture in a wildly ...

So this poem was written by Sappho, 2700 years ago, but I translated it from Ancient Greek for a school project. I know it's accurate to what the original says, ...

Hi there! There is a case for repetition, but too much repetition is never a good thing. I'm going to give you one piece of advice for this poem: Pick ...

Hi there. Okay, so basically I like your message. The problem was, you totally sacrificed content for form! I mean, rhythm is fun and all, but only when it accentuates ...

This is just a style I'm playing around with; i'd like to hear what people think works, doesn't work... be honest! Fly, hurdle, spree! Free! Can't catch me, I'm what ...

Hi there. Wow! I am very impressed. Your poem is very impressive, and made even more impressive because of your age. Let me just do some picking, though, to help ...

Hi there, Really nice job. Dialogue, characters, setting, all top notch. Not much to criticize. My only problem with the story was the very ending. Victoria seemed like a strong ...

Hi there, So basically, I finished reading your poem with mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I love the push-and-pull thing you created, which we all experience one way ...

Hi there, Well, first of all, my favorite thing about your story was the character Mike; you could see how he would act, and you added lovely little details like ...

Hi there, If there's one thing I dislike about romance stories, it's excessive sex scenes. Sex has its place in a romance story (duh) but only when it moves the ...