canislupis

Ok, this is really creepy. good idea, but you should make it a little clearer. also the spacing in the beggining is a little weird. it is kindof confusing in ...

hee hee. I had to read it twice before I understood it. Maybe you should make the (and I quote) " OOOAABLUGAAAAHHHH!!!" out of cap locks.

I agree with the other reveiwers. I agree with your opinion, but you need to voice it better. They critiqued your spelling, but I didn't think it was that bad. ...

Overall, I liked it. Other than what gadi pointed out, your stoy is a bit information dumpy. the format in which this is written makes it hard not to be, ...

Thanks so much! sorry about the spacing thing, it turned out differently than I expected it to. I will edit it in accordance with your suggestions! thanks again!

I like the premise, and the ending. However, some of the dialogue sounds very forced. [Nahimana went to bed and soon after a nice sleep it was morning.] this sentence ...

I sit on the front porch, feeling the warmth of Summer’s breath on my leg. Any warmth is welcome in the early morning chill. I reach my hand out to ...

I really like the way you wrote this story, your style is unique and very interesting. I also like the characters that you created, they are all very creative and ...

Ok, you have a pretty nice begginning to a story, but you have some minor problems. In some parts I noticed that you were using commas excessively,which takes away from ...