canislupis

This is much much MUCH better. Did you type this on word or just put it in directly? I would recommend that you make a word document first, as that ...

This is nice, it has an almost poetic feeling. However, it is a bit repetitive. I guess there's not much you can do to avoid that though. I like the ...

This was pretty good, but it has grammar and punctuational errors. Try reading it through outloud, I find that it helps. More commas! especially when they are talking to eahc ...

Nice. Funny. ahem... *Dies laughing* Wait! I'm Still Alive! XD

A Visitor The forest is always a busy place. To the casual observer, (especially if they are human) It is almost always silent. But, to its inhabitants it is a ...

Short post=short comment. :D There are punctuation mistakes in the writing. I won't point out all of them, but having mistakes like that in the writing means you don't care ...

This was funny and really cool. The beggining is a little unclear and confusing, and parts of it aren't really necessary. Other than that I would say good job.

I agree with little lucy about the first sentence, also you should redo this sentence: 'She looks your way with mischievous, dark eyes;' maybe just rearrange the order a little ...

I think you should revise your sentences a little. I haven't got time for a full review, but I thought you had a good idea, and worth continuing.

from the punctuation point of view there are a few mistakes, and the sentences don't go very well together.

pretty good, understandable, almost beleivable. however, you need to clear some things up. I haven't got time to give a line by line review, but I just thought you could ...

wow. This was pretty good. You need to watch your commas and grammar, but other than that it was ok. I think you should develop the main character more. Especially ...

Sniff sniff..... Anyway, this was really good! very beleivable in the way it was presented, no problems with grammar or anything, and the spelling is almost immaculate. For once I ...

This is an interesting beggining to a story, but here are a few comments I had: First of all, as I have gathered, you posted your story in two places, ...

Chapter one _________________________________ Secrecy. I feel it in the air today, thick as the silky fog that is drifting up outside the window from the disgusting swamp down the hill. ...