canislupis

Hi there, and welcome to YWS! I guess I'm your first reviewer! So, first of all, I really, really like this. :) My main critique is not going to be ...

Hi again! I'm glad you added more on to this. It makes much more sense now. :) A few things: Dialogue grammar--you need to work a little on the punctuation ...

First of all, since you're using the Star Wars universe, this is fanfiction, not science fiction. It belongs in that forum, so get a mod to move it there. I ...

Hi! A few nitpicks first: I growled sleepily at the people in the hallway. I knew it wasn't really their fault it was morning, but I couldn't help the desire ...

The good: I liked the original voice, and the way the dialogue was written was realistic without feeling stilted. I liked the characters as well, and the intriguing story line. ...

Hi there! And welcome to YWS! I used to have your exact avatar. :) Anyhow, on to the review! This isn't really a story--yet. It feels more like an outline ...

This is straight from my little poem and story book.(My lttle poem and story book is a notebook that I write them in!) I have one of those too! ;) ...

Hey there! I really liked this. It felt like poetry. Just a few things: Numbness...I don't want the numbness to go away. Because when I'm not numb I'm in pain. ...

But where is it? I see no poem. Could just be my stinky computer, but I see nothing. :( If you post it so I can see it, I'll come ...

I have to echo what Snoink said--I don't think I could do this on Paint, so good job. :) I do think that the "for" in the dialogue box could ...

I know how to make my own messages stickies, but is there a way to make other people's posts stick? I cannot seem to get this to work.

And.... Done! Again, I'm open for business!

Hi! Here is you requested critique. I haven't read the first two, so sorry if I mention something that was covered in the other parts. I think the line-by-line stuff ...

How do you even know animals can appreciate the "good lives" they're given? Some animals get ran over by cars and hunted down by other animals, brutally, frightened. They're legs ...

I agree with others before me--the point of "flash fiction" is to give your readers a snapshot image of something, usually trying to be very descriptive. Usually people describe one ...