bwi

Thank you for your help! I added more sensory details to the first paragraph and I think it reads better,

So it's actually the first few sentences from the story. Basically, the MC has been hospitalized for a little longer than a month now. She has gone into heart failure ...

I wasn't exactly sure where to put this but this seemed like the best place... Anyway, this is an excerpt from a fanfiction that I'm currently working on. The squeeze ...