bugbug368

Really good writing you did here. I can't read it all but when I get the chance I will. It seems, so far, really good. The way you have written ...

This is very interesting. I liked it, (sorry if I'm being to picky) but the introduction repeated itself. Like it said about the guy who was checking her out. I ...

I’ve only ever read about this gorgeous place in books. We were summoned to the village hall where the `host families` pick the evacuees that look the most presentable. I ...

Yeah, it would be better if you used quotation marks when people speak, because you don't really know if they're talking or the character is saying something with apostraphes (I ...

Really nice, I do like it. I haven't got to read all of it, because for one, I've seen so many words and for two, I was getting a tad ...

Really good so far. Very nice, well done. :)

You use the word, 'said', a lot. Now, that can be soooooooooo boring for the reader. They don't know HOW they are saying it. Here are some useful words to ...

There's quite a few mistakes in here. And you may want to go over it and edit it. Try not to rush the conversations, like when the boys are blocking ...

Ugh! Pure amazingness! Love it already! I want the second chapter!!!!!! It's short, but that doesn't matter. It puts you on edge, along with the short but effective sentances, it's ...

Wow. I like it. Intense. :)

"I really don’t want to leave you, Mother,” I cry, as I cling on to both Mum and Tommy. “Harriet, I don’t want to leave you either, but this is ...