bubblewrapped

It surprised me that I enjoyed this so much, LOL. Snoinkus picked out most of the best lines, but personally I loved the first stanza and the line that came ...

Not sure I really agree -- the formatting seemed OK to me, kind of run-out-of-breath run-on-ish but I think it kind of worked, LOL. Maybe a little bit of smoothing ...

Um... Like Fand said. Nice try. Punctuation is pretty much covered, so I'll just say something briefly about the rhyme scheme. While I'm all for alternative rhythms and unusual line ...

You're right, I reckon there's something missing too. And that seems to me to be emotion. I mean, it's *there*, but it's not getting full expression for some reason. I ...

I'm with Brad - this isnt really very poetic. That being said, your idea was lovely. Just the execution was not my style (I hate all the blood when they ...

No offense, this looks really interesting, but as it is, it's just this big run-on sentence collection in a huge block of text and (to be honest) I cant be ...

I cant imagine why nobody has reviewed this -- I quite like it! Perhaps you could change the title, though? It isnt very...promising, LOL. Anyways - to the crit! here ...

LMAO. I cant really crit it (not good at non-fiction, essays, etc.) but I can say I loved it. Really funny ^_^ **both thumbs up**

I agree, that was a weird kind of way. LOL. Overall, it was quite good - I found some bits a tiny bit cloying, and it moved a trifle too ...

Well, since you asked for specific areas, I will leave off language crits for now (although it is painful for me to do so, because I am nit-picky that way, ...

Rain pelted the forest floor in huge dime-sized drops. It was spring time in Scotland and the earth was sodden with rain. The wind buffeted the windows of the cloister. ...

Hey there! Welcome to YWS, nice to meet you! First things first: do you mind removing your name from there? Not a good practice on the net (if it's your ...

**sits down and stares for a minute or two** **gets up, walks around the poem(?) a few times and sits down again** No, I still cant decide if I like ...

Sadly, havent read it. My bookshelf is threatening to implode with the number of books I need/want to read, so I havent even BEGUN to think about it. Which is ...

Currently ... several books at once **blushes** 1. House of Mirth (still!) 2. Biggles in Borneo 3. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall 4. MEDIATOR: Young Blood I used to do ...