bubblewrapped

Snoinkus! More poetry? Excellent ^_^ If there was time-traveling, this is it fingers traveling over embossed letters on cheap hallmark cards -- Christmas has come, rejoice! And in the corner ...

Well....that was interesting, I guess. A few suggestions: The the skeleton swings From the gnarled tree Black against the moonlight Swinging from it's twisted gallows Creaking as the chill winds ...

Um. Wah-huh? Sorry, but this made no sense to me. First, you say that age is not death. Right. But then you say, it is growth, only growth is not ...

I suppose I'll take liberties and disagree with Crysi in a few places here, LOL. I did like this. You have, as I said, a gift for simile (yeah, the ...

OMG! So sweet! ... um. Yes. Fortunately, I am notoriously cruel, so I am still able to critique L:DL Lucia wrinkled up her nose. He was ugly. His hair was ...

OK, it works better now. There are a few lines which still strike me as awkward, mostly because of their structure: Who came to sit by his side? Who else? ...

How do you punctuate poetry? The secret, I think (although I know very little about it, really) is to read it. And then see where your natural pauses are, where ...

Well, I guess by "tidy up" I mean, you need to keep the same number of beats/syllables in each line and establish a regular sort of pattern to accompany your ...

**blinks** I kinda like it, and I kinda dont, LOL. The rhyme scheme and rhythm seem a bit stilted; on the other hand, they lend a unique flavour to the ...

Snoinkles! I love it! **steals poem** No, but seriously. It's short, it's sweet, and it is definitely metaphorical - to me, anyway :lol: If I were you, I'd think about ...

Aloha Jiggy, Not sure where to put this - I can never really figure out the difference between the categories, to be honest :oops: :lol: I think it will do ...

I like it, as I said. The beginning especially is well done. One thing that bugged me throughout though - too many commas! You're always using commas before speech when ...

Hmm. I liked it, but there were parts that bothered me. Namely, the entire first two stanzas. IMHO, these are unnecessary exposition. You could dump them both without really injuring ...

For the first time in quite a long time, I can sincerely say that I have no real critique for you. This was beautiful -- definitely on my Top Ten ...

personally i dont think ts that hard............ecxcept when your chin accidentally hits the laptop mousepad and m,akes weird stuff happen, lol. gvbood practife in case yiu ever end up ina ...