bubblewrapped

I cant believe this hasnt had any crits yet :shock: Firstly, I can tell there's a great deal of emotion behind this poem. Unfortunately, a lot of it is obscured ...

Hey there, welcome to YWS :) Chandni picked up most of what I wanted to say, so I'll just reiterate a few points: 1. Imagery. You really need to expand ...

I liked this. Very subtle and well expressed. A few nit-picks: May I press my fingers firmly on your neck? As your skin rubs off on mine? And my head ...

No need for a preface, I think the poem stands on its own quite well. I really liked this piece. You have a nice sense of rhythm and the rhyming ...

I'm going to be blunt and say that this poem wasnt very good. At all. You have a great premise. Can we ever truly connect with others? How can we ...

Hmm. Well, other critiquers have pointed out most of the things that bugged me, but I just have to reiterate (ironically) that the repetition didnt do anything for me. I ...

I second (third?) Clau and cadmium. For a first attempt at free verse this works nicely and it's great to see a love poem that doesnt rhyme for a change. ...

Huh. Well, perhaps because I dont know Hypocrit but most of this was lost on me. It sounded (in my mind) very rant-ish and it was difficult to get the ...

I'm cant remember that well. Something about a flea, I think o_0 I'm sure it was very symbolic, LOL.

To be honest, although this was fairly well done – at least so far as rhyme and rhythm are concerned – it didn’t really do much for me. Far too ...

:smt107 :smt049 :smt049 In case you havent guessed, I really love this piece. I heard it won the competition so I figured I'd check it out - boy am I ...

:smt049 :smt041 :smt049 In case you havent guessed, I really love this piece. I heard it won the competition so I figured I'd check it out - boy am I ...

I think this poem gave me nightmares last night LMAO. Aside from that though, as a poem it's very well done, and I love the subject. Very clever :D Cheers, ...

I have to say I agree - this is far too prosaic to really work as a piece of poetry. I know what bullying is like, but even I dont ...

I loved this. At first I didnt understand the connection between Sarah and her father and the toys, so you might want to make that a bit clearer. I would ...