bubblewrapped

OK. Leaving aside the obvious grammatical and spelling errors for the moment (because I don't really have the time and I'm sure someone else will be more than happy to ...

Wow, Vernon. Can I just say that that was a really beautiful poem? Seriously. I love the imagery. A few things I think could use tweaking: Firstly, I agree with ...

Bubbles plummetted from the ceiling and landed in the homepage with a thud. Unlike the chatroom floor, that of the homepage was very solid and she collided with it more ...

After several false starts, Bubbles managed to coordinate her limbs and get to her feet. Or perhaps that should be hooves. Staying upright was more difficult, but finally she found ...

Username: Bubblewrapped (Bubbles) Sibs: None. Mini-animal: Maltese Terrier Sucked in from: Bedroom at home. Landed in: The chat. Description: Um. Read it and see ;) Bubbles did not hear her ...

That's sad :( He was a good actor - and so young! It's weird to recognize so many names in the obits recently. Usually it's just ancient actors/celebrities I've never ...

Short but sweet. You've captured the moment pretty well. I don't like the first line; it adds nothing to the poem, and I would think seriously about adding some punctuation. ...

Whoa dude, where's the punctuation? I can see a couple of commas, but that's it. I had trouble discerning any rhythm to this, and I think it would be vastly ...

You're right when you say it's not your best, but the concept is worth saving. I'd personally cut out most - if not all - of the rhetorical questions in ...

The tree that they planted here last year is tall now. As the seasons turn, its leaves are slowly yellowing, dropping one by one to the slick pavement until the ...

Clever, quick and humorous. I quite liked it. I would advise that you clean up the punctuation though, get rid of the capitals at the beginning of each new line, ...

Hey there, First off, welcome to YWS! Remember to keep you review to post ratio at roughly 2:1 :) Secondly - the poem! Wow! Congratulations on maintaining that rhyme scheme ...

Hi there! First off, welcome to YWS! Please remember to keep your review to post ratio at roughly 2:1 :) Secondly - the poem. I absolutely love that last line: ...

Hey Sydstix! I must say I liked this - the tone was just right, a mixture of playfulness and regret, and some of your images were very striking. I do ...

The tone is consistent and the anger well conveyed. Are those lines in bold meant to be included in the poem? I'd leave the first one normal if so, or ...