bubblewrapped

Thank you for the entertainment, A.D.A., but your behaviour is uncalled for and against site rules. I am referring this thread to the Moderators & Admins. Best of luck with ...

“Hey, baby,” the woman called as Ian entered the house. “Hey,” he said, moving into the lounge where she sat and shrugging his coat onto a chair. He pecked her ...

I read it a few weeks ago, and like you I was struck by the simplicity and elegance of her prose. I'll add my recommendation to yours: definitely a must-read! ...

This is an old post, but I had fun with it anyway XD My character Margaret scored a 9 on the litmus test - the anti-Sue! Yay! And this is ...

"He was crushing their self proclamation as the god of their region. They were being self proclaimed gods and God was tired of their arrogance." Chapter and verse please. I've ...

Another retelling of Psyche and Eros :D I found the twist with the vampires interesting, and the story itself was fairly well plotted. A few things I noticed: 1. Your ...

I agree with timjim that this seems like a vaguely focused defense of synesthesia. There were some interesting ideas in there, and I would love to see this topic explored ...

I like your premise here, and for the most part the execution is good. But I think it gets weak and a bit flabby in the middle - specifically, after ...

Like ringo_rules, I'm not much of a haiku fan, but they can be done really well when the words and ideas are chosen and constructed carefully. Unfortunately, I don't feel ...

There are basically two things wrong here: 1. The poem is completely impersonal. Although you write in first person, the reader is given no window into the poet's soul, no ...

Though the flow is slightly awkward, I think you manage most of this well. I did find the ending lines to be highly cliche and the schmaltz factor kind of ...

You have an interesting premise, but no substance. Also, no punctuation. Currently the poem just seems to wander through cliches, and I honestly think it would make a better song ...

Wow. Why didn't I know you wrote awesome poetry? Everything has pretty much been said, so I'll just repeat -- it's short, it's sweet, and it is brilliantly evocative. I'm ...

Mm. You have some interesting imagery in this, but IMHO it fails due to the fact that nothing is really connected and, ultimately, nothing happens. This poem feels stillborn: several ...

Hey there, This isn't really poetry - at least, not as currently constructed. It's more like poetic prose. Try reformatting so that you have proper line breaks and so on, ...