bubblewrapped

Moved to Lyrics for you. Also suggest you change the word "Soal" in the title to its correct spelling. Cheers :)

Hi there, welcome to YWS! You've made a pretty good start with this poem - I like the concept and you express yourself well. Before I get any further into ...

Moved to Randomness. I don't think this belongs in Dramatic Poetry ;)

Well, usually men like stories with blood and explosions and sex. Girls like girly things like pink and love stories and unicorns. Dude, what is with the generalizations in this ...

This poem has some great potential, but you need to do a bit of work to bring it out. In my opinion, the lines in italics are unnecessary. The poem ...

A good start, but I think there's much you could improve on. Firstly, it is structurally very awkward and does not flow well. Your rhyme scheme, while more or less ...

Re: Selene oh, and by the way my intent was not to "emotionally blackmail you". if that's what my words did to you, i am so sorry for the inconvenience. ...

To be honest, I love this just as it is. Kissthewitch is right in that"window" having it's own line makes it stand out, but I'm not wholly convinced this is ...

- I can write 23k in 9 hours. Nine hours of insanity! *crazy grin* - I can actually keep writing something if I really want to, even if I feel ...

Evil is based on morals, and morals are relative. Debatable. Granted, evil is defined (in part) as an act which is "morally wrong or objectionable," but there are those who ...

Beautiful. I'm not really sure what to suggest for improvement, as it doesn't really need it; a bit on the sentimental side, perhaps, but nicely pulled off all the same. ...

Overall, I liked this: it was very powerful, and the imagery was deeply evocative. It was, however, rather erratic, both in structure and in narration; you might want to work ...

Further to what CreepDan said, this poem needs some meat on its bones. Currently you are not telling us anything we did not already know and there is no imagery ...

Forgive me if I repeat anything said earlier - 15 pages is a little bit too much to read right now, and I cannot recall if I have contributed to ...

Let's see here... Evil? Grr... can't find my dictionary. But I encourage someone who feels like finding out to post it. Anyway, I think it's somethig like wrong, wicked, bad. ...