bubblewrapped

WOW. Seriously, I am blow away. I love this poetry and this particular type of poem - particularly the run-on stream-of-consciousness thing you have going. Dont change a thing. I ...

I was experimenting with structure here, and the result was something very...odd. Unfortunately the forum wont let me post it like it's intended to be written - it reads better ...

I couldn't believe my eyes. All my beliefs had been shattered overnight. I no longer know what to think. What I had seen had destroyed my hopes and my future, ...

Its actually pretty good - especially for a 2am-poem lol (I know what those can be like...[shudders] I wish they all turned out so well hehehe). It reminds me of ...

Definitely a powerful (if depressing) poem...I particularly liked the ending, like Nate said, a real shocker. Makes you do a double take and reread it all over again in a ...

I wrote this at midnight last night, after one of those thoughts that sometimes resolves itself into a poem around the witching hour. Its not brilliant, but I like the ...

Right now, its not incredible. No worries, though, coz it definitely has potential ;). There are some good places and some not so good but overall I really enjoyed it. ...

Wow. Awesome poem, a lot of emotion and depth. Well written too, although slightly stilted in places. Definitely very powerful - particularly loved the last stanza. "how can you love ...

I think this is a great poem, particularly the way you repeat the first lines as the last - a very effective ending. "I walk alone. My existence-- Means nothing. ...

Aww, that poem is so sweet! I love it. Particularly the inversion in the first stanza - "I need you/as you need I" - very clever. My only little bits ...

Definitely depressing, lol. I agree with faith, the rhyme scheme is awkward and surprising (although thats not necessarily a bad thing, it does read kind of stilted). You could try ...

"Ripples" is good...Thanks for your suggestions. I used "Indigo" when I posted this on Fiction Press, which seemed to go down well. I'll have to keep thinking though, as I ...

I really enjoyed this poem - my only major criticism is that its too short! LOL But the ending is well done, very sharp and pointed - kind of like ...

I agree with faith - I didnt like this as much as I liked your previous poem. It doesnt seem to flow very well, although that could just be because ...

Overall, its a great poem - I like the transition at the end from describing perfection (or close to it) then saying that America will fall that day; talk about ...