bubblewrapped

Again, its cool, but nothing we havent heard before. I get the impression you're just mouthing the words here, if you know what I mean. Using borrowed images for something ...

I definitely agree with Brian. Its good, and the metaphor (or is that analogy?) is excellent. It does, however, have some niggly bits; Even as I fear that a soundtrack ...

I want to first congratulate you on the way you're handling all of our criticism. I dont know if I could take it with such equanimity, so kudos to you. ...

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You need more subtlety in your work. Instead of attacking a subject head on you need to actually think about what ...

I have to say that I agree as well. Laughter is more than a sum of its parts, if you know what I mean. What's missing, I think, is subtlety. ...

Thanks Galatea - I've made some alterations as per your suggestion and I think I like it much better now :) 'daddy's plastic' is definitely stronger and I reckon it ...

I definitely think this is an improvement. Your second stanza fits nicely with the first and 'takes over' is a good replacement for 'washes over'. Overall, a great effort, definitely ...

Thanks convintojm, I'm glad you liked it. I never really noticed at the time that I said 'mothers money' - it just seemed natural. But now that I reread it ...

Thanks Firestarter, I particularly enjoyed this poem coz the topic was kind of unusual for me :). Glad you enjoyed it.

I love this poem- there are soem great images in there. I traveled down the interstellar highway. I wanted to see you on the other side. You with hips like ...

Gripping is right. I almost feel too afraid to make suggestions here, but there are a couple of things that I felt need to be adjusted... children die, c'est la ...

I really enjoyed this poem. Glad to see you're posting more Firestarter - oh, and congrats on becoming member of the month ;)! Now, to the poem...I dont really think ...

Is this finished? It could be just me but it seems to stop rather abruptly... Greed is a goblin, That washes over us, Leading us away from honesty And hard ...

Well, coming after that post by Incandescence I suppose anything I say is going to look kindly by comparison, lol. Just remember this is only my opinion! Anyway. This has ...

Posting in "Other" again, even after I was trying not to, LOL. Oh well. Happy New Year everyone! A few notes on my newest poem: When I use the word ...