bubblewrapped

I agree with break~my~heart; you need to watch your punctuation, especially capitalization. Most people don't seem to realize, but in poetry punctuation is just as important as in prose - ...

I liked this. The line breaks were a bit arbitrary - it seemed kind of stiff in places - but you paint a vivid picture and the emotion behind the ...

April 21 Koru (Terzanelle) Papatūānuku , mother, I sing for you in the morning. Like the bright ferns amongst the kōwhai , I am unfurling, uncurling a furred tongue that ...

This is a great first effort, although you do have an extra syllable or two here and there. I love your use of imagery - "sunlit shadow rooms" in particular ...

An interesting idea, and you’ve certainly put a lot of effort into this poem. I think you need to do some work to improve it, however. Firstly, watch your rhyming. ...

I liked this - there's a real sense of memory and loss here. The image of the leather binder is explored well, but I think you need to work on ...

Edited to add a rating. Please be careful to rate your work correctly in future. Also, I think you might have better luck with these if you posted them one ...

I absolutely love this. Seriously. The idea of writing as a cheating lover is both hilarious and uncomfortably close to the truth. Still, there were a few things I thought ...

Welcome (rather belatedly, I admit) to YWS! I agree with xanthan - there are a few places where you need to play with the rhythm (and the rhyming) to get ...

It has potential, but there are several things I think you could improve on. Firstly, there are a few places where you don't actually complete the thought you start out ...

Well, I have to confess this poem didn't really make an impact on me. I'm not sure if it was the rhyme scheme or because you didn't really explain anything, ...

Edited to add a rating. Please remember to rate your work correctly in the future. Cheers, ~bubbles

That...was actually pretty awesome. You think it's going to be one of those traditional angst-rant poems (no offense) at the beginning, but the tone and style are well-controlled and you ...

Awesome :D Congratulations all!

April 20 The Bride Wore Red (Canzone) Late at the altar, waiting for the priest, She stood unveiled. Beside her, He wore black, And stood like a raven with her, ...