bubblewrapped

To put it frankly, I think this poem is suffering from an over-abundance of punctuation and an under-abundance of context. The full stops at the end of each line spoil ...

Structurally, this is fairly sound; your rhythm is smooth and you only break the rhyme in the third stanza (which could arguably rhyme anyway, depending on how you pronounce the ...

Welcome to YWS :) On a structural level, this poem isn't too bad. Your rhyming is fairly smooth, and you only break rhythm in a few places. You might want ...

I'm afraid this poem kind of fell flat for me. Structurally, you pulled off the rhyming fairly well, and for the most part it did not feel forced, but your ...

Welcome to YWS :) June's pretty much covered most of what I wanted to say, so I'll just throw in some general advice. Firstly, punctuation. I say this a lot, ...

I agree with KA, your imagery is definitely unique. One of the main problems I had with the poem, though, was that many of your ideas seemed incomplete or to ...

Hi there, Like Paper Moon, I enjoyed the old-fashioned style here, but I also found the repetition a little too much. I've always found when repeating certain lines in poetry, ...

I have to confess, I agree with Firestarter here (incidently, Jack, did Brad die and make you the new YWS Grouch?...I'm kidding. Really. Don't eat me ;)). If you really ...

Nice enough, but not a poem that reaches out and grabs the reader by the throat. A few things to remember: 1. Punctuation. Poetry needs punctuation as much, if not ...

Hi Megan, welcome to YWS :) Like FA, I appreciate the sentiment behind this poem - it's nice to find someone using a fairly upbeat tone, if you know what ...

While a very moving poem, and well written in parts ,my main complaint was the lack of flow. Each verse seemed to be just about to hit stride, and then ...

One poem a day for 30 days :) Congrats everyone. It was great fun, no?

Congratulations on surviving NaPo, everybody! :D

April 30 Underground (Free Verse) Mining stone for miracles, we reach into the blind depths of a hapless earth for something worth holding onto. Unlike the diggers of gold rush ...

April 29 Wrists and Ankles Need Not Apply (Kyrielle) I am hypnotized by your hands. The way they move, it just demands Attention. Those white butterflies (Your hands) are where ...