-
Re: Dream to no longer sleep
Hi there and welcome to YWS :) I don't have any nitpicks so I'll get right into my overall thoughts. I like this, because even though it's fairly short, it's ...
Oct 4, 2011 -
Re: Sparks; chapter one, part one
Like I mentioned in the prologue, I've put this under action/adventure novels, but it contains elements of fantasy. If you haven't read the prologue, I would highly recommend it! Could ...
Oct 4, 2011 -
Re: Before I Knock....
Hi there! Ah, monologues- there are my most favourite thing in the world; so many memories of drama class... Anyway, I really like this! It's easy to picture the character ...
Oct 3, 2011 -
Re: The Jacket
Hi there! Let me start off by saying that I absolutely loved this- I am quite the sucker for romance. I'll give you my overall thoughts in a moment, but ...
Oct 3, 2011 -
Re: For You
Hi there, This was so amazingly sweet- I loved it! The overall tone of your poem was great;flowy and soft, which sets a romantic feel. Your use of metaphors is ...
Oct 3, 2011 -
Re: Evidence Has a Story
Hi there, First off, I love your rhyming scheme- it just flows so nicely, and there weren't any parts where it sounded off or compromised, which is awesome. Anyway, onto ...
Oct 3, 2011 -
Re: In the Hospital
Hi there! This poem both intrigued and confused me... but in a good way! It has an element of mystery to it, because I'm not entirely sure what is going ...
Oct 2, 2011 -
Re: The Blazen Chapter #1 (revised)
Hi there! From the first section about the dream, up until the very end, I was captivated. Now I want more! My mind has wandered to the point of what ...
Oct 1, 2011 -
Re: The Ghosts of Octavius-Chapter 2
Hi there! I see you have the start of what I think could be a potentially brilliant novel. I'll get the nitpicks out of the way first. They're mostly mechanical; ...
Oct 1, 2011 -
Re: Rachel
Hi there! I'll start with the nitpicks to get them out of the way: millions of wings patter as the butterflies fly off into the distance. - I love the ...
Oct 1, 2011 -
Re: Just another random thought
Hi there! I see you're new to YWS, so welcome :) Onto your poem, I thought that you brought your thoughts across very clearly. It was easy to understand where ...
Oct 1, 2011 -
Re: In 207.5 Words
Hi there! The title drew me in also, and as I read I wondered how you could have .5 of a word- then the ending came and I smiled. That ...
Oct 1, 2011 -
Re: From the Inside- Chapter 5
Hi again! Is this the end? It seems like it to me, and if it is, I must say that it is a very powerful way to end things. wow. ...
Oct 1, 2011 -
Re: From the Inside- Chapter 2
Hi there Oh wow, I am only on the second chapter and I am already hooked to this story! The imagery and tone is perfect and you seem to have ...
Oct 1, 2011 -
Re: Let Go
Hi there! First off, I agree with Idraax that this could be expanded more. I also genuinely liked this but I feel like it lacked a few things. Detail is ...
Oct 1, 2011
