break~my~heart

I wasn't sure about your poem at first. I ended up liking it though it was a bit elementary- The way you conveyed your message, your wording, pretty much all ...

Thanks for the review, it helped alot, and I'm going to try and edit it with your suggestions. But on the last line, I was trying to say that the ...

"It grows into a venus fly trap That opens its great maw And projects the ghostly images Of all the keys in the universe They revolve and revolve Like the ...

This was really... deep. And the imagery was...wow. This kind of reminded me of Dante's Inferno, the way it is a story in the form of a poem... with one ...

Dear God, (haha) Profound. Seriously. *Star* Sincerly, Ash

Happiness . . Happiness runs on bare feet, Dances, twirls just out of reach. She won't heed your call, can't feel your touch. She draws only to those who will ...

This is beautiful. I loved it. Seriously. Wow. The only nitpick I have is your lack of punctuation. It makes the poem kind of confusing when there is none. So, ...

Thank you =) I will try to work on your suggestions. -ash oh p.s. It is about the holocaust... hmm How to make that fact obvious?? :?

I liked this alot, especially the ending. But I do have a few suggestions to help with the rhythm. For example, on the second line, I would insert something like ...

I Watch from the Window This wood is etched Across my aging face, Laid on plates of glass, The sill forever my place. . . They came to us at ...

Oooh pretty =) It really is, and the only thing, since it is photography we are discussing, that I can suggest is to maybe change the contrast, or color intensity. ...

I liked this.. I want to point out, however, that you should probably stick to using black "ink". This makes your work look more professional and worth reading. Also, I ...

aw... 7/10 :)

hi :) could you maybe review this piece for me? it's um, Thanks! -ash

oh wow. This was seriously awesome! I loved it. And though I know you posted this poem in hopes of a helpful review, I can't really give you one as ...